grrr.. I've got so many things to be anxious about. I'll list them:

1. my summer RA job. I'm not that anxious but I am annoyed that we have so many breaks. I'm working at my college for about 3 weeks maybe a little bit more. It's basically a summer RA/TA which means I'll be working full time yay! No. I'm really that excited. I'm so sick and tired of living with my parents and hearing my mom wail and complain over every little thing. It's sickening. I'm ready to go to work. The RA/TA job is basically working with minority youth and teaching them skills that they can carry on into high school and college in order to make them more successful with their education.

   Being a Muslim woman and a part of that minority I feel very strongly about education and, even more important, getting people who would otherwise drop out of school into a program that helps them with self esteem, their ability to succeed in life, and a positive role model to look up to. That's why I joined the program that I'm working with this summer. I think it's really important to make a good impact on youth and give them a good outlook on education, to show them that it's truly something to be desired and it can be fun as well!
   

2. hmmm...let's see. twilight. new moon. eclipse. The next book for which Jasmine is most excited about _____________. If you can't guess, it's Breaking Dawn. I was looking at amazon a couple of hours ago and I noticed that you can get the book for as low as $15. I went through the whole process (registration, add to cart blah blah blah) but then decided to ask google "how fast does amazon ship pre-orders?" And the majority response was that Amazon ships around 1-5 days after. When I checked my cart it said that the expected arrival time would be August 7th. What I was thining was "Ok. This is cheaper than going to a bookstore and getting the book which will cost about $20 but on the other hand I will have to wait 5 freaking days!' So I was like what the hell. I'll pay the extra 5 bucks if I can get my dosage of Edward hotness i love you within the first 2 hours of me waking up on August 2nd. 
3. Let's see. what else...hmm. Well I got my eyes checked th other day and apparently my eyes didn't take to the PureVision eye contacts that I've been using for the past year or so. My eyes have been watering for the past 3-4 months It really escalated when I went downtown Portland the other day and was around all that lovely pollution and smoking bastards. My eyes were tearing like there was no tomorrow. It was embarrasing. My doctor said that I have to wear my glasses for a month, using artifical eye drops 5-6 times a day and come back to see her a month later.

   So I have to go back on July 16th (after work finishes) and get them checked again. She'll hopefully give me other contacts to wear because I certainly cannot wear glasses in school. I have huge eyes (seriously, they're as Arabian as you can possible think) and they're very dark so wearing glasses downsizes all their glory- or the glory that they could possibly achieve not that I actually even try putting much eye shadow. I always feel very self concious when I wear mascara, eye liner/ eye shadow. My eyes just pop out and they look dramatic but still good. however, I just can't get used to them. I don't want to look like those girls who wear tons of make up on. It's trashy and it makes me look old and I want to look young forever (or however long I can escape with looking young ). I'm 20 now and I still look like a 12 year old. 15 if I'm lucky and want to look older. I think it's mostly because of my hijab (head scarf) though. Without my hijab I can actually pass for an 18 year old and 20 wouldn't be as shocking to some of my family friends.

   Do you want to know what the other perk is of not looking old? NO MARRIAGE Being Muslim, a woman and wearing a hijab I can only marry another muslim man and quite honestly the idea doesn't appeal to me very much. in. any. way. I just don't want to be married. And since I look like I'm 15, it's not legal in this country to get married at that age. The other day I was at my aunt's house and she told me that her friend's daughter is engaged and soon to be married as soon as she turns 18. She's younger me!!! OMG That's all I've got to say . Ridiculous. Absolutely ridic. Defining marriage as the sole purpose of life is just totally ridiculous and revolting to me.

   Apparently that girl is also going to drop out of school and just work. How stupid. Don't you know that even a High School Diploma is better than no college education when getting a job? WTF have your parents taught you??? Do you want to know her reason for getting married? So that she can shop more and eat at restaurants? What the hell. Yeah. Get a college degree. People like that make me go crazy. I just hope that I don't actually end up like one of these women. I have no respect for them. I actually don't. I know that Middle Eastern culture is conservative and everything. Trust me, I know. I've lived there for about 12 years of my life and I know how it is but that's no reason for remaining in the sidelines, demeaning yourself and not pursuing your own life. Having a identity is extremely important and marriage will never supplement that part of ones' self.

I've added 2 new blends:

Two new affiliates

I have some colorizations, banners and retouches that I want to upload but I'll do that later.

I cleaned out the affiliates section and deleted ones that weren't linking back to me, haven't updated in more than 2 months and just sites that I didn't like.

but I did find some pretty cool sites out there who had amazing portfolios. check their sites out and leave them comments!

I think I might make that a new rule, I'll only affiliate with people who make great graphics. If they make not-so-good ones than I won't really feel inclined to leave them comments so there's no point in me affiliating with them.

I'm planning on updating the banners page but that'll be some time layer. This is very out of subject but my eyes are itching a lot. it's very weird. I wear contacts and I feel like they're burning. I think they're dry...*goes to get some eye drops*

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